(applause)
JOE FRANKLIN: I do go back. I go back to the days when the Dead Sea was only sick.
(laughter) And my first guest ever was Moses. Moses had a headache and I told him to
take two tablets. Now, I don’t do comedy, I just want to say that I guess my participation
here tonight is built around the fact that Gypsy Rose Lee, who was a dear friend of mine,
was inspired as a guest on my TV talk show to want and desire and finally get her own
syndicated TV talk show, which I got for her, I introduced her to the syndicator.
And I was just told—I mean, she was the thinking man’s stripper, she brought intellect to
the art of stripping, and I was told what a verbal dynamo she was, so when she came on
my show the first time, I said, “Gypsy, just talk, just talk, whatever you want to say, tell
us a joke.” “You want to hear a joke?” She says—this is one of my favorites, by the way,
from way back, seems that she knew a man who owned TWA, and he said to the crew,
this lady going on the plane right now, very important client of mine, keep her happy,
she’s a very active subsidizer of all my activities, she gets on the plane with her pet dog,
they put the dog in steerage, they fly to Israel, and when they get to Israel, they bring out
the dog. Guess what? The dog is dead! They say, “Oh, my God,” they run into the
cockpit, there’s the captain, “Terrible news, Mrs. Goldberg’s dog dead, we’re all going to
get fired.” “I got an idea.” He said, “About ten minutes into Jerusalem, or in Tel Aviv, is
the veterinarian, maybe, maybe you can match the dog, we’ll keep her happy with happy
talk.” So they say, “We’ll try it!” They take the dog out of the cage, take the dog down to
the veterinarian, and guess what? They are able to match the dog, it’s amazing. So they