Resource Kit
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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
2
Table of Contents
Introduction 3
Contacts 4
Checklist of Resource Kit Contents 5
Section 1: Activities for Kindergarten to Grade 3 6
Friendship Circle 7
Charades of Kindness (Fantasticat) 8
Friendship Chain 16
Friendship Wreath 17
Section 2: Activities for Grade 4 to Grade 12 18
Circle of Respect 19
Ad for a Friend 20
Giving Compliments & Healing Bracelets 23
Dilemma 25
Pressure Points 27
Show Respect 29
Friendship Spotlight Game 32
Section 3: Activities for Youth to Adult
36
Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship Check list 37
Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship 38
Unhealthy Relationships Word Search 43
Friendship Circle 44
Kindness: Pass it On Poster 45
Ideas for Kindness Bookmarks 46
Circle of Respect 47
Ad for a Friend/Partner, Co-worker/Family Member 48
True/False Healthy Relationships Question Set 51
Healthy Relationships Question Set 52
Role Play Scenario/Discussion Cards 56
The Choice is Yours – Life’s Situations for Teens 58
Family Circle 60
Love Is...Love Isn’t 62
Myth or Fact – Dating Violence 74
Other Available Resources 79
References/Sources 83
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Introduction
Healthy Relationships take time to get right! This resource focuses on
developing positive relationships with friends, family members, neighbours & any
other people you may encounter in your life. The kit contains interactive activities
that encourage children & youth to discuss the key elements that help make a
healthy relationship.
What makes a Healthy Relationship?
Respect - Respect each person as an individual. A healthy partnership means
learning about the other person & valuing what’s important to them.
Trust - Means that you feel that you can count on each other & that the other
person will be there for you. Trust needs to be earned over time & can be lost
with a broken promise.
Be Honest about thoughts & feelings. It is the “real me” that our partner wants to
get to know.
Communication - Is how we show our respect, trust & honesty. It requires
listening & sharing thoughts & feelings.
Healthy Relationships Unhealthy Relationships
You feel good about yourself when
you’re around the other person.
You feel sad, angry, scared or worried.
You do not try to control each other.
There is equal amount of give & take.
You feel you give more attention than
they give to you. You feel controlled.
Communication, Sharing & Trust. You
feel safe & trust to share secrets. This
requires listening.
You do not communicate, share or
trust.
You like to spend time together but
also enjoy doing things apart.
You feel pressured to spend time
together & feel guilty when apart.
It’s easy to be yourself when you’re
with them.
You feel the need to be someone or
something that you’re not.
You Respect each other’s opinion.
You listen & try to understand their
point of view even if you don’t agree.
You feel there’s no respect for you or
your opinion. You’re not able to
disagree.
There is no fear in your relationship. You feel fear.
Sometimes respect, communication, trust & honesty are negatively affected
when people use alcohol & drugs. Alcohol &/or drugs may cause arguing,
physical, emotional or sexual abuse &/or unprotected sexual activity.
Some of the activities included in this Resource Kit were adapted from the
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit Eastern Health, Health Promotion Division
(2010).
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Contacts
Regional Mental Health Promotion Consultant
Western Health
6th Floor WMRH, P.O. Box 2005
Corner Brook, NL A2H 6J7
T: 637-5000 Ext. 6692
F: 637-5624
Regional Sexual & Reproductive Health Consultant
Western Health
6th Floor WMRH, P.O. Box 2005
Corner Brook, NL A2H 6J7
T: 637-5000 Ext. 5492
F: 637-5624
Regional Parent & Child Health Coordinator
Western Health
347 O’Connell Drive, P.O. Box 2005
Corner Brook, NL A2H 6J7
T: 632-2919
F: 632-2636
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Checklist of Resource Kit Contents
(Container with Binder)
29 Charades of Kindness (Fantasticat) Cards
Charades of Kindness Props
Empty Juice Bottle
Ball
Box of Crayons
Small Broom
Tin of Food
Plastic Flowers
Rolling Pin
Book
Grocery Bag
Plastic Apple
8 Dilemma Cards
6 Pressure Point Cards
18 Show Respect Situation Cards
3 Colour Heading Posters
15 Friendship Scenario Cards
2 Heading Cards (Healthy Relationships/Unhealthy Relationships)
32 Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship Cards
10 Kindness Pass it on Posters
10 Ideas for Kindness Bookmarks
9 True or False Question Cards
13 Healthy Relationships Question Set Cards
5 Role Play Scenario/Discussion Cards
9 The Choice is Yours! Life’s Situations for Teens Cards
8 Conflict Cards (Family Circle)
Love Is...Love Isn’t Cards
Myth or Fact - Dating Violence Cards
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SECTION 1:
Activities for
Kindergarten to Grade 3
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Friendship Circle
Have children sit in a circle. Ask each child to tell you something about kindness
(e.g. what they think it is, an example of a kind act or a kind thought, something
they do that is kind or something they might do in the future). The intent is to get
the children to think about kindness and highlight that it is part of their everyday
activities. Ask how kindness makes people feel. How do they feel when they are
kind and when others are kind to them? It would be helpful to have a second
person to flip chart responses as you can then leave the lists for posting in the
classroom as a reminder.
This activity may be supplemented by having children create a circle of kindness
using a paper plate to paint or draw a picture about kindness. These creations
could be displayed in the classroom or corridor of the school.
Note: You may use the props in the kit to support this activity.
See http://www.crayola.com/coloringcraft/craft/printer.cfm?id=608 for the activity
that inspired this idea.
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“Fantasticat” Charades of Kindness
Overview
This game is recommended for grades K-3. It is based on the character
Fantasticat. Fantasticat says, “I Am Fantasticat” and “I can do anything”. The aim
of this activity is to get children thinking and talking about acts of kindness that
they can do to show that they respect themselves, others, and their environment.
It helps children think about how each of us is unique and have different things to
offer. They will learn that respect, good manners and kindness are all
inseparable.
Detailed Instructions
Find your charades cards and props in the kit provided.
There are numerous charades cards that you can use. One side of the cards
features various cat characters to reinforce the concept of diversity and
uniqueness. The other side shows acts of kindness that the children can act
out when playing the game .You may choose to review the cards and pick out
those that will work best with your group or you could decide to use them all.
You may choose not to use the props provided, it will depend on the group
you are playing with. If you wish, they can be creative and use their own
props or their imagination.
Use the charades cards provided in the kit to have the children act out
the kindness activities on the cards. There may be complete sentences on
the cards to explain the activity. The facilitator may have to help and point out
the actual picture activity for the child.
The children will take turns picking a charades card from the pack of
cards and acting out the action on the card chosen. The other children
will need to guess what activity is being acted out. See appendix A for
some suggestions as to how you might divide participants into small groups.
After each activity is acted out and guessed you should ask the children
how it made them feel to do something kind and how it might have felt
to have something kind done for them. You may choose to wait until the
end of the game to do this. End the activity by pointing out that acts of
kindness make everyone feel better.
Fantasticat Activity adapted from http://www.businessballs.com/fantasticat.htm.
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Props/Cards for Fantasticat Charades of Kindness
and Circle of Kindness Activities
Charades
Cards
Props
1. Give your teacher an apple
2. Play a game with a classmate
3. Share your crayons
4. Make a birthday card for a
classmate
5. Hold the door
6. Carry a friends school bag
7. Tie someone’s shoes
8. Share your umbrella
9. Give someone a hug
10. Surprise a family member with
breakfast in bed
11. Fly a kite with someone
12. Carry someone’s groceries
13. Rake your neighbors yard
14. Shovel someone’s driveway
15. Help a friend build a snowman
16. Help mom bake cookies
17. Call a friend
18. Take turns
19. Recycle
20. Clean up your school yard
21. Give your bus driver a thank
you card
22. Give old clothes away
23. Donate food during food drives
24. Pick flowers for someone
25. Help clean up
26. Read a book to a younger
student
27. Share old books
28. Make a bookmark for a friend
29. Water plants
1. Empty juice bottle
2. Ball
3. Box of crayons
4. Small broom
5. Tin of food
6. Plastic flowers
7. Rolling pin
8. Book
9. Grocery bag
10. Plastic apple
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat
Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat Fantasticat
Fantasticat
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Charades of Kindness
Give your teacher an apple.
Charades of Kindness
Play a game with a
classmate.
Charades of Kindness
Share your crayons.
Charades of Kindness
Make a birthday card for
a classmate.
Charades of Kindness
Hold the door.
Charades of Kindness
Carry a friend’s school bag.
Charades of Kindness
Tie someone’s shoes.
Charades of Kindness
Share your umbrella.
Charades of Kindness
Give someone a hug.
Charades of Kindness
Surprise a family member
with breakfast in bed.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Charades of Kindness
Fly a kite with someone.
Charades of Kindness
Carry someone’s groceries.
Charades of Kindness
Rake your neighbour’s yard.
Charades of Kindness
Shovel someone’s driveway.
Charades of Kindness
Help a friend build a
snowman.
Charades of Kindness
Help mom bake cookies.
Charades of Kindness
Call a friend.
Charades of Kindness
Take turns.
Charades of Kindness
Recycle.
Charades of Kindness
Clean up your school yard.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Charades of Kindness
Give your bus driver a
thank you card.
Charades of Kindness
Give old clothes away.
Charades of Kindness
Donate food during food
drives.
Charades of Kindness
Pick flowers for someone.
Charades of Kindness
Help clean up.
Charades of Kindness
Read a book to a younger
student.
Charades of Kindness
Share old books.
Charades of Kindness
Make a bookmark for a
friend.
Charades of Kindness
Water plants.
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Friendship Chain
Give children strips of construction paper. Have everyone decorate and write the
name of a friend on the strips. Let children take turns adding their strips to the
chain. Display the chain in the classroom. Keep a supply of construction paper
on hand and invite the children to continue adding strips to the class friendship
chain.
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Friendship Wreath
Make one big friendship wreath for the bulletin board or break up into groups of 5
or 6 to make smaller take home wreaths
Materials:
construction paper
scissors
pencils
markers
pencil crayons
glue
Directions:
You might want to take 5 minutes of circle time before starting the craft to talk
about friendship. Let the kids finish the sentence "I like friends who..." to give
them inspiration for their handprints.
At the end of the craft you can have circle time again to talk about what the
children decided they liked in a friend. Talk about the importance of having
those qualities -- ex: if you like friends who smile a lot then you should try to
smile a lot too.
Group Wreath:
Have the children pair up and trace each other's hand on a piece of
construction paper (let them pick their favorite color) with a pencil.
Cut out the handprints (may require adult assistance).
Have the children print their name on each of their handprints and draw a
picture or print a sentence about friendship on each of their handprints.
Have the children take their finished handprint to the leader.
Glue the handprints together in a circle (to make a wreath) -- the leader can
do this or you can let the children attach theirs to the wreath.
Take Home Wreaths:
Have the children trace each other's hand on a piece of construction paper
(let them pick their favorite color) with a pencil.
Repeat this so that each child makes a handprint for everyone in their group
including themselves (so in a group of 5, each child would make 5
handprints).
Cut out the handprints (may require adult assistance).
Have the children print their name on each of their handprints and draw a
picture or print a sentence about friendship on each of their handprints.
Have the children hand out one of their handprints to each person in their
group.
Everyone in the group should now have a set of their friend's handprints.
Glue the handprints together in a circle (to make a wreath).
Adapted from DLTK's Crafts for Kids www.dltk-cards.com.
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SECTION 2:
Activities for
Grade 4 to Grade 12
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A Circle of Respect
With students sitting in a circle, introduce the concept of respect as part of
healthy relationships. You might also mention the importance of respecting the
environment in which we live. Recycling is an example of environmental
respect….
Have each student contribute an idea about respect (e.g. what it means to them,
an example of a respectful behaviour, talk about how it feels to be respected,
how they show respect to friends and family, how teachers show respect to
students etc). If students cannot think of ideas you may need to provide some
prompts by asking questions about their behaviour and experiences. As with the
Circle of Kindness the responses can be flip charted (students can help with this)
and left with the class or group as a reminder of the activity. Students could also
be encouraged to create a poster or drawing to show their interpretation of
respect.
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Ad for a Friend
Overview
This is a small group activity where groups are instructed to use their creativity in
developing an “Advertisement for a Friend”. You will need to divide the
participants into small groups (5-6 participants per group would work well).
Groups can be selected in any number of ways.
Encourage students to think about the qualities they would like a new friend to
have and how those qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy
relationship. Acknowledge that not everyone values the same qualities in a friend
so groups may have very different ideas. Encourage individuals within a group to
come to an agreement about the qualities while noting the qualities there was
disagreement about. Groups can be encouraged to be creative in the
development of the ad. They might simply write it and read it out to the larger
group. Some groups might use a poster or act out a scenario as in a TV
commercial. As the facilitator you might assign different approaches to each
group to keep things interesting. Explore why some people value different
qualities when appropriate in the larger group discussion.
You can provide a list of qualities (attached) or at least have it available if groups
have trouble coming up with ideas.
Detailed Instructions
Introduce the activity to the class or group. You can read the description
below (this handout can be distributed to participants for easy reference) or
use your own words to describe the activity.
Note: You may want to brainstorm qualities with the whole group instead of
having each individual participant complete a list. The large group might be
more effective with younger groups.
Participant Handout:
A list of qualities of a friend will be created using large group or individual
brainstorming. You will be assigned to a small group to develop an advertisement
for a friend. Discuss your ideas within your small group and come to an
agreement on the five most important qualities. If there is disagreement make
note of this but you need agreement to include the quality in the ad. Once you
have agreed on the qualities you will include, develop the ad and a creative way
to present back to the larger group so that it is entertaining or interesting to your
classmates. Finally think about how those qualities would contribute to the
development of a healthy relationship and have someone in the group present
that information to the rest of the class. Be prepared to give reasons for your
decisions about the five most important qualities. You will have about 30 minutes
to do all of this.
Option 1: Have each participant take 2 minutes to create their list of friendship
qualities.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Option 2: Have the whole group brainstorm a list of qualities, set a goal of listing
10 or 15 qualities.
Option 3: If time is short you may want to hand out the attached list.
Divide participants into small groups using a method you are comfortable with.
Have each group choose a discussion leader and a recorder/reporter. Explain
that the leader’s job is to help make sure everyone participates in the
discussion. The recorder/reporter takes notes of key points and reports back to
the larger group. This role will be different depending on how the group decides
to present their ad to the rest of the participants.
Provide the leader with the participant handout and a time frame for the
discussion depending on the time you have available. Leave 15 minutes or so
for the large group discussion after the small group activity.
As the groups work through the discussion you as the facilitator will circulate
the room to encourage people to stay on task. Check in with each group when
the allotted time is half used. Give a two minute warning to encourage groups
to finish up their discussion in the allotted time.
Have the groups take turns sharing their Advertisement with the larger group.
After all groups have presented their Ad ask a question to each group about
how they made the decision to include those qualities. Explore how participants
see these qualities as contributing to healthy relationships. Note the similarities
and differences in the qualities and the ads. Note that respect for differences of
opinions and ideas is part of respect and healthy relationships. Ensure that
you provide some positive comment to each group. You may want to
comment on the respectful work required by participants in developing the
advertisement.
Thank participants for the opportunity to work with them on this matter.
Encourage them to note these positive qualities in their friends and to
compliment each other occasionally! If there is time you could explore ideas for
building on this activity in future sessions. The participants might come up with
some ideas. You might suggest creating a poster of the common qualities to
post in the classroom to remind everyone of the importance of friendship. Each
group could create a poster in another session. Individuals might be interested
in doing some more research on the subject and presenting to the class. You
might mention the internet survey about friendship which is attached. The class
could do a similar survey in the school.
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Ad for a Friend - List of Friendship Qualities (edit for relevant age group)
Honest
Kind
Caring
Fair
Compassionate
Assertive
Easy going
Respectful
Common interests
Good Listener
Pleasant or Cheerful
Fun to be with
Supportive
Helpful
Loyal
Trustworthy
Dependable
Has good boundaries
Respectable/Respectful
Intelligent
Ad for a Friend - Participant Handout
A list of qualities of a friend will be created using large group or individual
brainstorming. You are assigned to a small group to develop an advertisement
for a friend. Discuss your ideas within your small group and come to an
agreement on the five most important qualities. If there is disagreement make
note of this but you need agreement to include the quality in the ad. Once you
have agreed on the qualities you will include, develop the ad and a creative way
to present back to the larger group so that it is entertaining and interesting to
your classmates.
Finally think about how these qualities would contribute to the development of a
healthy relationship and have someone in the group present that information to
the rest of the class. Be prepared to give reasons for your decisions about the
five most important qualities. You will have 30 minutes to do all of this.
Ad for a Friend - Friendship Survey
Some interesting statistics from an internet survey with 500 people responding to
the question asking people to choose the 3 qualities they viewed as most important
in a friend. Most participants were American and female.
Top Qualities:
Honesty 264
Trust/truthful 200
Loyalty 90
Sense of Humor 87
Caring 74
Fun 60
Love 57
Understanding 45
Good Listener 43
Kind 4
For more information, please refer to:
http://www.susankramer.com/friendshipqualities.html
http://www.friendshipandlovepoetry.net/survey/surresults.html#qualities
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Giving Compliments & Healing Bracelets
In this activity girls will have an opportunity to practise giving and receiving
compliments. Tell them that when they are stressed out, paying someone a
compliment or doing something nice for others can help relieve their own stress.
Compliments are a way of praising someone or showing appreciation and
admiration for who they are as a person or for the things they do.
While it is good to give and receive all types of compliments, the ones that have
the greatest impact are those that emphasize a person’s ability or good qualities.
Provide the girls with examples of these types of compliments.
Write each girl’s name on a separate card and place the cards in a bag or box.
Ask each girl to select one card. Ensure that no one has her own name. The
participants will do two things for the person whose name is on the card they
have selected. First, each girl is asked to write a compliment for the person
whose name is on the card she has chosen (e.g., “You are funny”). Tell the girls
not to write superficial or “surface” comments (e.g., “I like your hair”), but rather
ones that capture the person’s abilities or qualities.
Second, using the materials provided, each participant will create a healing
bracelet for the same girl. Distribute: Colour Meanings to help them choose
colours for each others’ bracelets (bearing in mind that the qualities represented
by a given colour may vary between cultural contexts and groups). Once this is
completed, the card and the bracelet are placed in an envelope with the girl’s
name on it and given to her to keep.
After the activity, have a brief discussion about why it is important to be able to
accept a compliment.
Materials: Beads, Wire
Adapted from Girls Talk: An anti-stigma program for young women to promote
understanding of and awareness about depression.
Copyright © 2009 Centre for Addiction and Mental Health www.camh.net
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Colour Meanings
Red: Pleasure, desire, vitality, will to win, love of sports and the survival instinct.
The “warm” colours red, orange and yellow are considered stimulating colours.
Orange: Creativity, confidence, intuition, friendliness and the entrepreneurial
spirit.
Yellow: Enthusiasm, cheerfulness, sense of humour, fun, optimism and
intellectuality.
Green: Perseverance, patience, growth and healing. Green is also related to
work, wealth and career.
Blue: Freedom, strength and new beginnings. Blue skies mean optimism and
better opportunities. Blue is cooling and relaxing. Blue symbolizes water, the
source of life. Agricultural people have traditionally worshipped water in the form
of rivers, clouds, mist and rain.
Indigo: Wisdom, self-mastery and spiritual attainment. Indigo has an inward
rather than an outward orientation. Indigo connects the conscious and
unconscious minds. Indigo should not be used for a person who is depressed, as
it can also deepen negative moods.
Violet: The psychological quality of transformation, transmutation and the
balance of power and love. Additional meanings include charisma, charm,
magical abilities and tolerance.
Colour Meanings Available Online at: www.livingartsoriginals.com
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Dilemma
Description: To give each member of a group a chance to voice their
opinion on topics related to dating.
Objective: To choose a card and give you uninterrupted opinion on the
dilemma presented.
Materials: Dilemma Cards
Directions:
1. Divide the class into groups of 4 and give each group a set of dilemma
cards.
2. Each person chooses a card and, in turn, reads it aloud.
3. Each person gets to give an uninterrupted opinion before the rest of the
group may join the discussion.
4. After all of the topics have been discussed, discuss a few of the topics as a
class.
5. Ask students how it felt to give an uninterrupted opinion. Ask if they get to do
that often. Who do they feel interrupts them the most (parents, friends,
siblings)?
6. Why is it important that people be allowed to express themselves without
interruption? Why do people interrupt? What does that say to the person
being interrupted? Discuss.
Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied
Research in Education. www.phdirect.com
.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Dilemma Cards
Dilemma:
What if your best friend had an
STI and asked you not to tell
anyone, but then started dating
another good friend of yours?
Dilemma:
What would you do if your best
friend’s boyfriend of girlfriend was
cheating on him or her?
Dilemma:
What would you consider
“the perfect date”?
Dilemma:
What would you do if a best
friend has just broken up with a
boyfriend/girlfriend and that
former steady now asked you
out?
Dilemma:
What would you do if you didn’t
approve of your son’s or
daughter’s boyfriend or girlfriend?
Dilemma:
What would you do if you found a
condom in your son’s back
pocket when washing his jeans?
Dilemma:
What would you do if you found
birth control pills in your
daughter’s purse while cleaning
her room?
Dilemma:
What would you do if your date
talked to someone else all night
while at a party with you?
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Pressure Points: Practicing Refusal Skills
Description: Learning to say no when you mean no is difficult for teenagers
when pressured by peers.
Objective: To practice using refusal skills in situations dealing with sex.
Materials: Pressure Cards
Directions:
1. Cut the Pressure Cards apart and pass them out to volunteers (Laminate the
cards if desired).
2. Choose one of the volunteers and assign him or her a partner of the opposite
sex.
3. In front of the class, have the person with the card attempt to pressure the
partner using the “line” written on the card.
4. After each situation is acted out, discuss the “line” and ask what might be the
best response.
5. Other questions for discussion”
Do you think it is more difficult for a guy to refuse a girl or vice versa?
Why?
Do you think guys would refuse girls? Why or why not?
What are some reasons a young person might want to wait before having
sex?
Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied
Research in Education. www.phdirect.com
.
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Pressure Cards
Pressure Point
This is ridiculous! We’re the only
ones not having sex!
Pressure Point
What’s wrong with you? Are you
a prude or something?
Pressure Point
Don’t you trust me? I would never
do anything to hurt our
relationship.
Pressure Point
This will bring us so much closer.
If you love me, we’ll do this.
Pressure Point
We’ve been dating for so long.
What are we waiting for?
Pressure Point
If this is the way you really feel. I
guess there’s no reason to keep
dating.
Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied
Research in Education. www.phdirect.com
.
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Adapted from Character Fun Gamekit (2007). www.marcoproducts.com.
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30
Show Respect Situation Cards
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
The hall teacher asks you to stop
running in the hall.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
The teacher says, “please turn in
your homework.”
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
In the lunch line, you ask for the
lunch staff to give you some
French Fries.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
The bus driver asks you to sit
down
on the bus.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
A
nother student makes fun of your
new hair cut.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
You ask for the mustard in the
cafeteria.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
A student in the lunchroom asks
you to pass the salt.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
A student pushes you in the
lunch line.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
There is a shown in the
auditorium. What do you do when
it is over?
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
You need to sharpen your pencil.
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31
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
A student tries to get you to fight
on the playground.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
Your mother asks you to clean up
your room.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
Your teacher asks you to run an
errand.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
A
friend wants you to keep talking
to him when the teacher is talking.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
Your father tells you to pick up the
trash in the yard.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
Your principal gives you a note to
take to your teacher.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
You need help from the teacher
with your math.
Show Respect Situation Cards
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
Your teacher gives you extra
homework.
© 1999 MAR-CO Products Inc.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
32
Friendship Stoplight Game
Purpose: To explore friendships using a spotlight analogy
RED = Stop! These are bad signs of a friendship!
YELLOW = Caution! These are warning signing on a friendship!
GREEN = Go! These are good signs in a friendship!
Materials: 3 Colour Heading Posters
15 Friendship Scenario Cards
Instructions:
Divide participants into groups and share the Friendship Scenario Cards
evenly among the groups.
Put the RED, YELLOW, GREEN poster headings on the wall.
Instruct the groups to read the cards and decide which colour best represents
each scenario.
Have teams put them on the wall under the corresponding colour heading
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
33
Adapted from Changes In Me: A Resource For Educators On Puberty And Adolescent
Development Peel Health Department: Healthy Sexuality Program – Contact Health Line Peel @
905-799-7700
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
34
Friendship Scenario Cards
You are afraid of your
friend’s temper.
Your friend criticises
you or people you
care about.
Your friend threatens
to hurt you.
Your friend bullies
and makes fun of
other kids at school.
Your friend pressures
you to do things you
do not want to do.
You are nervous that
if you tell your friend
something personal,
s/he will tell other
people at school.
Your friend sometimes
makes fun of you.
You rarely get to plan
what the two of you
will do together.
Your friend tells you
not to hang out with
certain people.
You enjoy being
with this person, but
you also enjoy
spending time with
other friends.
You usually feel
happy when you are
with this person.
Your friend respects
your feelings and
your opinions.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
35
Your friend talks to
you about his/her
feelings.
Your friend is happy
when good things
happen to you.
You say that you
agree with your friend,
even though you
really don’t. You are
afraid they won’t be
your friend anymore if you
disagree.
Adapted from Changes In Me: A Resource For Educators On Puberty And Adolescent
DevelopmentPeel Health Department: Healthy Sexuality Program –Contact Health Line Peel @
905-799-7700
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
36
SECTION 3:
Activities for
Youth to Adult
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
37
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
How many of the following attitudes and behaviours are present in your
relationships?
Communication is open and spontaneous (including listening)
Rules/boundaries are clear and explicit, yet allows flexibility
Individuality, free and personal identify is enhanced
Each enjoys doing things for self, as well as for the other
Play, humour, and having fun together is common
Each does not attempt to “fix” or control the other
Acceptance of self and other (for real selves)
Assertiveness: feelings and needs are expressed
Humility: able to let go of the need to “be right”
Self-confidence and security in own worth
Conflict is faced directly and resolved
Openness to constructive feedback
Each is trustful of the other
Balance of giving and receiving
Negotiations are fair and democratic
Tolerance: forgiveness of self and others
Mistakes are accepted and learned from
Willingness to take risks and be vulnerable
Other meaningful relationships and interests exist
Each can enjoy being alone and privacy is respected
Personal growth, change and exploration is encouraged
Continuity and consistency is present in the commitment
Balance and oneness (closeness) and separation from each other
Responsibility for own behaviours and happiness (not blaming other)
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Developing Healthy Relationships is an Important Life Skill!
Adapted from S.E.A.L.S. II, Wellness Reproductions & Publishing http://wellness-resources.com
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
38
Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship –
Matching Activity
Purpose: To explore characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships.
Materials:
2 Heading Cards (Healthy Relationships/Unhealthy Relationships)
32 Characteristics of a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship Cards
Instructions:
Divide participants into groups and share the Characteristics of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship cards evenly among the groups.
Put the headings Healthy Relationship and Unhealthy Relationship on the
Wall.
Instruct the groups to read the cards and decide if it is a characteristic of a
healthy relationship or a characteristic of an unhealthy relationship.
Have teams put each characteristic on the wall under the corresponding
heading.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
39
Healthy
Relationships
Unhealthy
Relationships
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
40
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Uses alcohol or drugs as an
excuse for hurtful behavior
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Acts controlling or possessive
– like you own your partner
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Goes back on promises
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Tries to make the other feel
crazy or plays mind games
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Makes all the decisions about
what the two of you do
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Tries to keep the other from
having a job or furthering
his/her education
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Smashes, throws or destroys
things
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Embarrasses or humiliates the
other
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Has ever threatened to hurt the
other or commit suicide if they
leave
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Pressures the other for sex, or
makes sex hurt or feel
humiliating
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Frequently criticizes the
other’s friends or family
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Yells at and treats the other
like a child
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
41
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Puts the other down by calling
names, cursing or making the
other feel bad about him or
herself
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Gets extremely jealous or
accuses the other of cheating
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Communicate about sex, if
your relationship is sexual
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Never feel like you’re being
pressured for sex
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Have close friends and family
who like the other person and
are happy about your
relationship
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Have some privacy – your
letters, diary, personal phone
calls are respected as your
own
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Encourage each other’s
interests – like sports and
extracurricular activities
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Have equal decision-making
power about what you do in
your relationship
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Both apologize when you’re
wrong
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Both accept responsibility for
your actions
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
42
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Solve conflicts without putting
each other down, cursing at
each other or making threats
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Respect each other’s opinions,
even when they are different
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Support each other’s individual
goals in life, like getting a job
or going to college
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Trust each other
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Always feel safe with each
other
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Each enjoy spending time
separately, with your own
friends, as well as with each
other’s friends
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Have fun together more often
than not
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Has ever grabbed, pushed, hit,
or physically hurt the other
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Always treat each other with
respect
Characteristic of a Healthy or
Unhealthy Relationship
Tells the other how to dress
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
43
Unhealthy Relationships
Word Search
T Z U O Q U R O
D
Q
F
R
U
S
T R A T E
D
D C W T X W Y F
U
E V
Q
Y S
A
D N E S
S
K W K A P H Y V
X
U
S
G
F Z
O
K E W V
N
E I Q C Y H N B
P L U
U
U
M
L D L K C
M
M R K G W U Z E
E S Y
M
F S
W
I A N I
J
L H N L A T M X
W
H
O
K
N
I O
I I H U
U
Z S L G Q F J N
E Q
A
Y
O
K
G C S E X
Q
U M R L A L A G
E Z O
U
D
A
F M Y B Y
Y
C O Y D Q G A L
O
N
N
D
S U
N
C H G V
A
U O G L G Z B T
J A
F
E
L T
W
A P M D
U
U A N U V A W X
N
I Q
P E K
E D N T L
R
B E G T T N T R
S E D
P I F
D
D N G E
T
K K V I R L N O
A
R M
A
I N
S E C U R
E
Z R R P K O L T
B U
Q
R
J J
E N R J D
Y
Y R U X W A L U
T P B
T
J K
P T P I E
E
I M U B T Q M L
Z Q
Z
D
J E
R U G W S
C
Y N K E P D K B
E W
P E
O
M
G X W J U
Z
T L D U Z O V P
B D
O
S
N
U
L V Q B B
A
V P L A N O I T
O
M
E
U
W
X
Y J Q K A
T
TRAPPED
USED
PHYSICAL
ANGRY
STRESSED
IRRITABLE
CONTROLLED
ABUSED
EMOTIONAL
FRUSTRATED
EXHAUSTED
SADNESS
ISOLATED
MENTAL
INSECURE
HURT
CONFUSED
Adapted from www.mindyourmind.ca
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
44
Friendship Circle (Youth to Adult)
Have people sit in a circle. Ask each person to tell you something about kindness
(e.g. what they think it is, an example of a kind act or a kind thought, something
they do that is kind or something they might do in the future). The intent is to get
the people to think about kindness and highlight that it is part of their everyday
activities. Ask how kindness makes people feel. How do they feel when they are
kind and when others are kind to them? It would be helpful to have a second
person to flip chart responses.
Note: You may use the props in the kit to support this activity.
See http://www.crayola.com/coloringcraft/craft/printer.cfm?id=608 for the activity
that inspired this idea.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
46
Ideas for Kindness Bookmark
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
47
A Circle of Respect (Youth to Adult)
Sitting in a circle, introduce the concept of respect as part of healthy
relationships. You might also mention the importance of respecting the
environment in which we live. Recycling is an example of environmental
respect….
Have each person contribute an idea about respect (e.g. what it means to them,
an example of a respectful behaviour, talk about how it feels to be respected,
how they show respect to friends and family, how teachers show respect to
students etc). If people cannot think of ideas you may need to provide some
prompts by asking questions about their behaviour and experiences. The
responses can be flip charted.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
48
Ad for a…
Friend/Partner/Co-Worker/Family Member
Overview
This is a small group activity where groups are instructed to use their creativity in
developing an “Advertisement for a…”. Choose to develop an ad for a friend,
partner, co-worker or family member. You will need to divide the participants into
small groups (5-6 participants per group would work well). Groups can be
selected in any number of ways.
Encourage people to think about the qualities they would like a new
to have and how those qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy
relationship. Acknowledge that not everyone values the same qualities so groups
may have very different ideas. Encourage individuals within a group to come to
an agreement about the qualities while noting the qualities there was
disagreement about. Groups can be encouraged to be creative in the
development of the ad. They might simply write it and read it out to the larger
group. Some groups might use a poster or act out a scenario as in a TV
commercial. As the facilitator you might assign different approaches to each
group to keep things interesting. Explore why some people value different
qualities when appropriate in the larger group discussion.
You can provide a list of qualities (attached) or at least have it available if groups
have trouble coming up with ideas.
Detailed Instructions
Introduce the activity to the group. You can read the description below (this
handout can be distributed to participants for easy reference) or use your own
words to describe the activity.
Note: You may want to brainstorm qualities with the whole group instead of
having each individual participant complete a list. The large group might be
more effective with younger groups.
Participant Handout:
A list of qualities of a will be created using large group or individual
brainstorming. You will be assigned to a small group to develop an advertisement
for a
. Discuss your ideas within your small group and come to an
agreement on the five most important qualities. If there is disagreement make
note of this but you need agreement to include the quality in the ad. Once you
have agreed on the qualities you will include, develop the ad and a creative way
to present back to the larger group so that it is entertaining or interesting. Finally
think about how those qualities would contribute to the development of a healthy
relationship and have someone in the group present that information. Be
prepared to give reasons for your decisions about the five most important
qualities. You will have about 30 minutes to do all of this.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
49
Option 1: Have each participant take 2 minutes to create their list of qualities.
Option 2: Have the whole group brainstorm a list of qualities, set a goal of listing
10 or 15 qualities.
Option 3: If time is short you may want to hand out the attached list.
Divide participants into small groups using a method you are comfortable with.
Have each group choose a discussion leader and a recorder/reporter. Explain
that the leader’s job is to help make sure everyone participates in the
discussion. The recorder/reporter takes notes of key points and reports back to
the larger group. This role will be different depending on how the group decides
to present their ad to the rest of the participants.
Provide the leader with the participant handout and a time frame for the
discussion depending on the time you have available. Leave 15 minutes or so
for the large group discussion after the small group activity.
As the groups work through the discussion you as the facilitator will circulate
the room to encourage people to stay on task. Check in with each group when
the allotted time is half used. Give a two minute warning to encourage groups
to finish up their discussion in the allotted time.
Have the groups take turns sharing their Advertisement with the larger group.
After all groups have presented their Ad ask a question to each group about
how they made the decision to include those qualities. Explore how participants
see these qualities as contributing to healthy relationships. Note the similarities
and differences in the qualities and the ads. Note that respect for differences of
opinions and ideas is part of respect and healthy relationships. Ensure that
you provide some positive comment to each group. You may want to
comment on the respectful work required by participants in developing the
advertisement.
Thank participants for the opportunity to work with them. Encourage them to
note these positive qualities in their
and to compliment each other
occasionally! If there is time you could explore ideas for building on this activity
in future sessions. The participants might come up with some ideas.
Note: Idea found in the Health curriculum in Healthwise 1 (page 68) as an individual activity.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
50
Ad for a Friend/Partner/Co-Worker/ Family Member
List of Qualities (edit for relevant age group)
Honest
Kind
Caring
Fair
Compassionate
Assertive
Easy going
Respectful
Common interests
Good Listener
Pleasant or Cheerful
Fun to be with
Supportive
Helpful
Loyal
Trustworthy
Dependable
Has good boundaries
Respectable/Respectful
Intelligent
Ad for a Friend - Participant Handout
A list of qualities of a friend will be created using large group or individual
brainstorming. You are assigned to a small group to develop an advertisement
for a friend. Discuss your ideas within your small group and come to an
agreement on the five most important qualities. If there is disagreement make
note of this but you need agreement to include the quality in the ad.
Once you have agreed on the qualities you will include, develop the ad and a
creative way to present back to the larger group so that it is entertaining and
interesting to your classmates.
Finally think about how these qualities would contribute to the development of a
healthy relationship and have someone in the group present that information to
the rest of the group. Be prepared to give reasons for your decisions about the
five most important qualities. You will have 30 minutes to do all of this.
For more information, please refer to:
http://www.susankramer.com/friendshipqualities.html
http://www.friendshipandlovepoetry.net/survey/surresults.html#qualities
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
51
Healthy Relationships Question Set
In a healthy relationship you
respect each other’s opinion.
True or False?
In a healthy relationship you
enjoy doing things apart from
each other and together.
True or False?
In a healthy relationship you do
not try to restrict or control each
other.
True or False?
In a healthy relationship it’s
easy to be yourself when
you’re with the other person.
True or False?
In a healthy relationship you
enjoy the time you spend
together.
True or False?
In a healthy relationship you
can disagree and it is okay to
talk about your differences.
True or False?
In a healthy relationship there is
no fear
in your relationship.
True or False?
Getting jealous and accusing
the other person of cheating is
a characteristic of a healthy
relationship.
True or False?
Name calling, criticizing and
putting the other person down is
normal in a healthy relationship.
True or False?
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
52
Healthy Relationships Question Set
Question 1:
What should you consider when
making decisions around sex and
sexual limits?
a. Your values
b. Your friends
c. Your family
d. All of the above
Question 2:
What is the best style of
communication to use when making
decisions about sexual limits and
boundaries?
a. Assertive
b. Passive
c. Aggressive
Question 3:
Name three important qualities of a
healthy relationship.
Question 4:
Which of the following is NOT an
element of a healthy relationship?
a. Trust one another
b. One person makes all the
decisions
c. Respect one another
d. Open and honest
communication
Question 5:
Name a reason why you may not make
healthy choices when it comes to sex.
Question 6: If you do not choose
abstinence, the best protection is:
a. Pulling out every time
b. Using a condom and the
morning after pill, just in case
c. Using the hormonal method like
the pill or ring, and a condom
d. Using two condoms instead of
just one
Question 7:
Name three resources you can turn to
if you are worried about abuse in your
relationship.
Question 8:
Name three characteristics of an
unhealthy relationship.
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
53
Question 9: What skills do you need to
make healthy decisions in a
relationship?
a. Intelligence, memory, ability to
do public speaking
b. Assertive communication, active
listening, and negotiation skills
c. Ability to persuade others, love,
passive communication
d. None of the above
Question 10:
Why would you choose abstinence?
Give 3 reasons.
Question 11:
Which of the following are signs that
you may be in an abusive relationship?
a. Bruises, scratches and other
signs of injuries
b. Avoiding friends
c. Apologizing for your partner`s
behaviour
d. All of the above
Question 12:
True or False: The average age of the
first violent relationship experience is
around 15 years of age.
Question 13:
Theo is new in school and really wants
to fit in. He is at a party which involves
drinking and his friend is trying to hook
him up. He is not sure what to do. What
is a consequence of either hooking up
or not hooking up?
Copyright 2011 - Alberta Health Services – teachingsexualhealth.ca
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
54
Healthy Relationships Question Set – Answer Key
1. All of the above. Values, goals, moral and spiritual principles are all things
people consider when making decision about sex. Talking to people you trust
such as family and friends will help you make healthy decisions.
2. Assertive communication. When individuals are assertive they:
Stand up for their rights without denying other people theirs
Respect themselves as well as others
Know how to listen and talk
Express their emotions, both positive and negative
Know how to be self-confident without seeming arrogant
3. Possible answers:
Trust
Respect
Honesty
Loyalty
Open communication
Fun
Caring
4. One person makes all the decisions. When one person in the relationship is
making all the decisions they hold the most power and may be manipulative.
It is best if both of you make decisions together.
5. Possible answers:
Pressure
Alcohol or substance use
Did not think about how you can handle the situation
You are in the “moment”
Poor planning (no condom or birth control)
6. Using the hormonal method like the pill or ring, AND a condom. This is know
as dual protection. Using a hormonal method provides protection from
pregnancy and a condom provides protection from STI and pregnancy.
7. Possible answers:
Family
Friends
Teachers
Counsellors
Coaches
Parents
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
55
8. Possible answers:
Jealousy
Abuse
Obsession
Manipulation
Dishonesty
Possessiveness
Lies
Fear
Some of these characteristics are easier to spot than others such as
physical abuse. Listen to your instincts and talk with people you trust
regarding maintaining a relationship and making wise decisions. If abuse
is involved, it is time for the relationship to end.
9. Assertive communication, active listening and negotiation skills. These are all
very important skills to have when making decisions about sexual activities
with a partner.
10. Possible answers:
Moral/family/religious beliefs
Prevent STI and HIV
Prevent pregnancy
Waiting for marriage/long term commitment/a certain age
Have not met the right person yet
11. All of the above. Relationship abuse comes in many forms, some are easier
to stop than others. The person being abused may not be able to identify the
abuse but their behaviour nay show signs. Avoiding friends is a way of hiding
the abuse from the people who care about you.
12. True. About 1 in 10 teens experience physical violence in a dating
relationship. Teens are at risk for abuse in their relationships due to
inexperience and stereotypes. Violence is NEVER OK.
13. Hook up – regret, embarrassment, risk of STI or pregnancy
Do not hook up – reputation of frigid, embarrassment, but no risk of STI or
pregnancy.
Copyright 2011 - Alberta Health Services – teachingsexualhealth.ca
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
56
Role Play Scenario/Discussion Cards
John is a good student who has always enjoyed school. He has always
maintained good working relationships with teachers and has felt able to ask for
help and advise when appropriate. Recently, John has felt that his math teacher
has been treating him unfairly during class by questioning his performance in a
series of tests. In fact, John would go as far to say that the teacher has been
making fun of him.
Role-play scenarios should include a conversation between the following:
John
The math teacher
Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate
suggestions around dealing with this relationship.
Maya and Leticia consider themselves best friends. Recently, Maya has noticed
that Leticia has been losing a lot of weight. She sees Leticia passing on food and
has heard her claiming that she is “fat” to other friends. Maya is now very
concerned for her friend but is not sure how Leticia will react if she raises the
subject.
Role-play scenarios should include a conversation between the following:
Maya
Leticia
Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate
suggestions around dealing with this relationship.
Joe lent Craig some money 6 weeks ago. He has not asked for the money back
but knows that Craig started a new part-time job 3 weeks ago and feels he
should now have the cash to repay him.
Role-play scenarios can include conversations between any combination of the
following:
Joe
Craig
Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate
suggestions around dealing with this relationship.
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57
Jordan is keen to take a year off from study to travel and work in Europe before
attending college. He believes that his parents will see this as a waste of time
and money and has decided to approach them with his idea.
Role-play scenarios can include conversations between any combination of the
following:
Jordan
A parent
A sibling
Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate
suggestions around dealing with this relationship.
Amanda has known Joanne since 3
rd grade. She has covered for Joanne several
times, saying that they are having a sleep-over when in fact Joanne has been
staying with her boyfriend. Amanda no longer wants to lie and feels used in this
situation.
Role-play scenarios should include a conversation between:
Amanda
Joanne.
Your group must work together to develop a conversation providing appropriate
suggestions around dealing with this relationship.
Copyright 2009 – Alberta Health Services – www.teachingsexualhealth.ca
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
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The Choice is Yours! Life’s Situations for Teens
The guy who sits behind you in Math has been bothering you all semester. He
runs his fingers down your back and across your shoulders everyday. It makes
you very uncomfortable and he doesn’t respond when you ask him to stop. Your
friends think it is kind of funny.
What should you do?
The boy whose locker is next to yours is being picked on by a group of popular
kids. The bullying is getting worse each week and the boy is now being shoved,
hit and verbally abused several times a day. No one seems to be helping him.
What do you do?
You have told your best friend about a girl you like. Several days later you see
him flirting and laughing with her in the hall.
What do you do?
You have been 25 pounds overweight for a couple of years. For the last 6
months you have been following a sensible eating plan and exercising regularly.
It has been hard work, but so far you have lost 10 pounds. You overhear
someone at school comment on your cute face, but big body and are devastated.
What should you do?
Ashley and Nick are on a date and are having a very nice time. At the end of the
date, Nick is pressuring Ashley into having sex. Ashley likes Nick but doesn’t
want to have sex with him at this point in their relationship.
Question – Should she have sex or not and why?
You and a boy at school like each other and would like to go to the movies
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
59
together as a date. You know that your parents won’t permit you to date yet, but
you really want to be with the boy.
You could ask your parents if you could go in the date, or you could tell your
parents that you are gong with a group and just meet the boy at the movies, or
you could stay home and tell the boy that you are not allowed to date.
What do you do?
Your friend and her family are out of town on vacation. You have a key to their
home and are taking care of the dog. While you are at their home, kids from the
neighbourhood stop by and start playing around the house. The next thing you
know it’s a party. Alcohol is being consumed and vandalism is occurring. You
have lost control of the situation.
What do you do?
It has always bugged you when classmates use terms like “gay” and “retarded”
when describing something they don’t want to do or don’t like. You hear more
kids using these terms all the time.
What do you do?
Your best friend asks for answers in a test that he/she didn’t have time to study
for. You are against cheating and are afraid that you will get caught and get an F
on the test, however you also don’t want to lose the friendship.
How should you handle this?
Adapted from The Choice is Yours! Life`s Situations for Teens, J&B Products Inc (2004).
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit
60
Family Circle
Description: Conflicts between parents and teenagers start for a variety of
reasons.
Objective: To explore some of the reasons that conflicts arise between
teenagers and their parents and to discuss strategies for resolving
them.
Materials: Family Circle Cards
Paper
Pens or Pencils
Directions:
1. Divide the class into eight groups and ask the group members to sit in a
circle.
2. Have one group member choose s Family Circle Card, then return to his or
her group. Tell the group members the topic that was chosen.
3. Tell students they have 5 minutes to write down as many examples of conflict
for the given category that they can think or (ex:: for the category of
appearance, students might write parents hate my long hair, parents don’t like
boys wearing earrings, teens want to wear jeans with holes in them to school
and parents disapprove).
4. When all groups have completed the task, have each group tell which
category was chosen and give their examples.
5. Next, discuss the nature of these conflicts and ask students for ideas for
resolving conflicts. Choose the best strategies and write them on the board.
Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied
Research in Education. www.phdirect.com
.
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Family Circle Cards
Conflict
Appearance
Conflict
Homework & School Work
Conflict
Choice of Friends
Conflict
Boyfriend or Girlfriend
Conflict
Music & Interests
Conflict
Rules & Curfew
Conflict
Chores & Neatness
Conflict
Cell Phone/Computer Use &
Time Away from Family
Adapted from Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities, The Centre for Applied
Research in Education. www.phdirect.com
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Love Is…Love Isn’t
Format: Group, or one on one
Objectives:
To identify characteristics of a “healthy” relationship
To recognize warning signs of an “unhealthy” relationship
To develop an understanding of the differences between healthy and
unhealthy relationships
Materials and Preparation: Prepare a set of index cards, each containing one
of the “Love Is…Love Isn’t” words listed in this activity. The words should be as
large as possible, and either typed or printed clearly. If you will be doing this
activity with more than one group, it is a good idea to laminate the cards for
future use.
Prepare two signs: “Healthy” and “Unhealthy”. Alternatively, you may use two
signs with symbols indicating “thumbs up” and “thumbs down”. Before beginning
this activity, post the two signs on the wall. The “Love Is…Love Isn’t” words will
be posted under each of these two signs, so make sure that you leave enough
space. Place strips of masking tape or two-sided tape under each sign. Also
place a couple of strips of tape in between the two signs, to indicate a space for
words that cause difficulties or that could belong on either side.
Time: 20 to 40 minutes
What To Do: Distribute the words to the participants. (It is okay if they are not
able to read the cards.) it is okay if some participants receive more cards than
others. One at a time, participants will hold up a card to be read aloud either by
you or by a volunteer. The group will then discuss whether the word on the card
is or is not a characteristic of a healthy relationship. Once the group had reached
a decision, the cardholder then sticks the word under the appropriate heading
(either “Healthy”, “Unhealthy”, or in between).
Adapted from Knowing Where You Stand Resource Guide. Planned Parenthood Frederiscton
www.fredericton.ppfc.ca.
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Love Is… Love Isn’t
Freedom
Self
Openness
Touching
Boss
Independence
Compromise
Responsibility
Hard Work
Fear
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Pleasure
Commitment
Trust
Sharing
Communication
Threats
Violence
Friendship
Truth
Respect
Strong Feelings
Possessiveness
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Scoring
Control
Promise
Honesty
Obsession
Manipulation
Intimidation
Giving Up
Yourself
Pain
Caring
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Dependency
Being Selfish
Sex
Proving
Yourself
Cruelty
Closeness
Jealousy
Recognizing
Differences
Expecting all of your
needs to be met
Adapted from Knowing Where You Stand Resource Guide. Planned Parenthood Frederiscton
www.fredericton.ppfc.ca
.
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Thinking About The Words
Freedom – Each person within a relationship must still have a sense of freedom.
People choose to get into relationships, and are free to make the choice to leave
an unhealthy relationship. It is not healthy for a person to be in a relationship
without freedom. It is not healthy for one partner to try to control the other. Each
partner should be free to make choices about what they do, who they are friends
with, where they go, what time they will be home… (At the same time, it is
important to remember that “responsibility” is also an important part of
relationships!)
Self – A person should not lose their “self” when they enter into a relationship.
Really, a relationship should be thought of as being made up of two individual
persons or “selves”. Each person should maintain their self and their identity as
an individual.
Openness – In a healthy relationship, partners are open with each other. They
feel comfortable talking, and sharing their feelings and ideas. At the same time, it
is important that each person still have their privacy. Openness goes along with
trust… if you do not trust someone, you will not feel safe iin being open and
sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Touching – Touching can be good or bad in a relationship, depending on
whether both partners are comfortable with the touching. Different people are
comfortable with different kinds of touching. Some people are comfortable with
certain kinds of touching, but only under certain circumstances, such as in a
private or a public space. If a person and their partner have shared certain kinds
of touching in the past, it does not mean that either partner is obligated to
participate in that kind of touching again. It is important to understand that
touching is not okay unless both people are comfortable, and both people want
the touching to take place.
For touching to feel good and to feel safe within a relationship, it is very important
for partners to communicate and to share their feelings and ideas around
physical contact. Each person should decide for themselves who will be allowed
to touch their bodies, as well as when, where and how other people will be
allowed to touch their bodies. It is also very important for people to talk with and
listen to their partner, to make sure that their partner is comfortable with touching.
Some people are not comfortable talking about bodies and touching. How can
you tell whether your partner is comfortable with certain kinds of touching?
People can say “No” in many ways… sometimes they may shake their head,
sometimes they may say things like “I’m not sure about this…” or “I don’t know if I
really want to do this”, sometimes they may try to push you away, or avoid you by
sitting out of reach, or maybe even start to cry. It is very important to be clear that
both partners are comfortable with any touching that takes place.
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Boss – There should not be a “boss” in a relationship. Both partners should be
equals. In a relationship, partners work together or take turns in making
decisions. It is not okay to be bossy in a relationship.
Independence – Each person in a relationship should maintain their
independence. It is important for each partner to have friends and activities
outside of their relationship. Partners should not ALWAYS have to do
EVERYTHING together.
Compromise – Compromising is a healthy way of reaching a decision. When
two people compromise, they each give up something that they wanted, and
meet each other halfway. For example, two people want to go out on a date: one
person wants to go bowling, and their partner wants to go to a movie. They may
decide to go to a movie one week and bowling the next, or they may decide to
each do the activity they prefer on their own, and to meet for dinner later in the
day.
In an unhealthy relationship, one person may always get their own way, and the
other person may always give up what they want. If one person always wants to
go to movies, and the other always want s to go bowling, and the couple always
goes bowling, how would the person who enjoys going to the movies feel? It is
important for both people in a healthy relationship to work together to reach
decision that make both people as happy as possible.
Responsibility – Each person should take their responsibilities seriously within a
relationship, and pull their own weight. Some responsibilities are shared, while
others are divided between the two partners. Each person is responsible for their
won actions and decision. A person should not blame their partner, or try to avoid
taking responsibility when something goes wrong.
Hard Work – Relationships are hard work. Often, movies and television shows
will portray people falling in love and living happily ever after. As a result, some
people have misconceptions about the amount of hard work involved in
developing and maintaining a healthy relationship. At the same time, if a couple
constantly has to work very hard to keep the relationship going, they need to
decide whether it is worth the effort.
Fear – Fear is not a good thing in a relationship. If you are afraid of your partner,
you need to tell someone. You should not constantly fear that you will lose your
partner, or that they will stop loving you.
Pleasure – Pleasure is generally a good thing to have in a relationship. Pleasure
can be unhealthy, however, when one partner focuses only on their own
pleasure, especially if they do so at the expense of the other partner. A difficult
situation can also arise if a person only focuses on their partner’s pleasure, and
ignores their own needs and desires.
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Commitment – Commitment can be a part of a healthy relationship. Often, when
people have been dating for a while, they will make the decision to date only their
partner. This is good, as long as both people talk about the relationship and
understand the commitment that they are making. It is not healthy if one person
believes they are in a committed relationship, and the other person dates other
people or breaks the commitment.
Trust – Trust is a very important part of healthy relationships. Partners must
know that they can trust and believe each other. Trust can be lost when one
partner lies or is dishonest. It is very difficult to regain someone’s trust, once it
has been lost.
Sharing – There are all kinds of things that people can share in healthy
relationships: feelings, ideas, food, activities, experiences…
Communication – Communication is a very important part of a healthy
relationship. Good communication helps partners to talk and work through their
differences, and to support each other during difficult times. Partners should feel
comfortable, safe and respected in talking to each other.
Threats – Threats are never okay in a relationship. If your partner threatens you,
you need to tell someone and to get help. Your partner may also threaten to hurt
your pets, or other people that you love. Your partner may also tell you that they
can not live without you and that if you leave them, they will hurt or even kill
themselves. If this happens, it is very important for you to talk to someone and to
get help.
Violence – There should not be any violence in a relationship. If your partner hits
you, slaps you, punches you, kicks you, bites you or hurts you in any way, you
need to get help. It is very important for you to talk to someone, even if your
partner apologizes for their behaviour.
Friendship – The person that you are in a relationship with needs to be a friend.
They need to be somebody that you like, and that you enjoy spending time with.
If you don’t like the person you are in a relationship with, then you need to think
about your reasons for being in the relationship.
Truth – Truth is an important part of relationships. If a person lies, or does not
tell the truth, they will lose their partner’s trust. Partners need to tell the truth, and
to be able to believe each other.
Respect – It is very important for partners to treat each other with respect. What
does respect mean? How do you know if your partner is treating you with
respect? What does respect look like? What does disrespect look like?
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Strong Feelings – Relationships often involve strong feelings. Positive feelings,
such as happiness, feeling special, feeling safe, and sharing are healthy.
Negative feelings, such as fear, distrust and pain are unhealthy.
Possessiveness – Possessiveness is when someone treats their partner like
they own them. People are not possessions. You do not own your partner. Each
person is responsible for themselves, and for their own actions. No one owns
another person.
Scoring – In a healthy relationship, there should be no scoring. Sometimes, a
person who has had sex with another person will say that they have “scored”. A
person may brag that they have “scored”. This is not a respectful way to talk
about another person. Scoring implies “winners” and “losers”. In a healthy
relationship, partners are equals, and work together. They do not use each other
to have sex or to “score”, or to gain popularity among their other friends. They
respect their partner, and may choose together to engage in sexual activities.
Sexual activities are private, and should not be bragged about, or used to
impress other people.
Control – It is unhealthy for a person to try to control their partner. Sometimes
people abuse their partners, trying to control them by threatening them, blaming
them for events beyond their control, intimidating them, isolating them from their
family and friends, emotionally abusing them, sexually assaulting them, or
through physical violence. All of these things are signs of an unhealthy or even
dangerous relationship. It is not okay for a person to control their partner, or to try
to have power over their partner. If a person is in a controlling or abusive
relationship, they need to talk to someone and to get help.
In a relationship, there may be some things that need to be controlled. For
example, the partners need to control their tempers, and control their spending.
Promise – Promises can be a good thing in relationships. Some couples may
promise not to go out on dates with other people. If promises are broken,
partners will lose trust in each other. Trust is very hard to rebuild, once it has
been broken.
Honesty – Honesty is very important in relationships. Sometimes, it can be
difficult to be honest, such as when you have done something that you think will
disappoint your partner. Still, it is very important to be hones. If you are dishonest
with your partner, you will lose their trust. It is very difficult to regain someone’s
trust, once it has been lost.
Obsession – Obsession is not healthy in a relationship. When someone is
obsessed with another person, they always want to be around them, and will
follow them everywhere, and may tell them not to have other friends or activities
outside of the relationship. They may worry constantly about losing their partner,
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and spy on them or do crazy and dangerous things to get their attention. It is
good to have strong feelings about your partner, but it is not okay to be obsessed
with them.
Manipulation – Manipulation is unhealthy. Manipulation is when one person tries
to make another person do something that they do not want to do. Sometimes, a
person may try to trick their partner into doing something that makes them feel
uncomfortable. Someone may try to force their partner to do something, or call
them names if they refuse. It is important to use your head, and think for yourself.
If someone tries to make you do something that you know is wrong, you need to
talk to someone and to get help.
Intimidation – Intimidation is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Your partner
may try to scare you into doing something. They may yell at you, or try to control
you by making you feel unsafe. This is not okay. You need to get away from the
person, and talk to someone about the situation.
Giving of Yourself – In a relationship, people often have to make compromises.
At the same time, however, it is not good to give up yourself. Things that are
important to you should remain important to you, whether or not you are in a
relationship.
Pain – There should not be pain in a relationship. Pain can be physical or
emotional. If there is pain in a relationship, or if you are feeling hurt or sad, you
need to talk to someone and to get help.
Sometimes, partners help each other through painful or difficult situations, such
as a death in the family. Sometimes, you may feel sad or angry about certain
aspects of your relationship, like when you have a disagreement. It becomes a
problem when you often or always feel sad or angry around your partner.
Caring – In a healthy relationship, the two partners care for each other.
Dependency – In a healthy relationship, you should be able to depend on your
partner. Dependency is a more extreme form of depending on someone. It
means relying on your partner for everything, all of the time. Your partner should
not always have to take care of you and do everything for you. In a healthy
relationship, the two people depend on each other for some things, and are able
to do other things independently.
Being Selfish – Being selfish is not a good thing in a relationship. People in a
relationship need to think of themselves, and also of their partner.
Sex – Sex can be a good thing or a bad thing in a relationship. In a healthy
relationship, partners may choose to have sex, or they may choose not to have
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sex. Some very healthy relationships don’t involve sex at all. And some very
healthy relationships involve sexual activities.
If two people in a relationship choose to have sex, and both feel comfortable and
safe, and are able to communicate about their bodies and feelings, and have
talked about the potential consequences of having sex, and have informed
themselves about “safer” sex and have chosen to take appropriate precautions,
then sex can be healthy.
Sex is unhealthy in a relationship when one partner forces, bribes, intimidates or
in any way manipulates the other person to have sex with them. Any sexual
activity or touching that is unwanted or that makes a person feel uncomfortable
or scared in NOT OKAY.
Proving Yourself – When you are in a healthy relationship, you should not
always have to prove yourself. It is unhealthy, for example, for a person to keep
telling their partner that they have to prove that they love them. In a healthy
relationship, people tell each other how they feel, and they believe each other.
Cruelty – Cruelty is never okay in a relationship. It is not okay for you to be cruel
to your partner. If your partner is cruel to you, it is important that you talk to
somebody, and get help.
Closeness – Closeness can be physical or emotional. Physical closeness is
okay, as long as both partners consent and are safe and fell comfortable. When
you allow someone to be emotionally close to you, you allow yourself to be
vulnerable. This is healthy in a relationship where you have already established
trust with your partner. Over time, partners in a healthy relationship grow closer,
and share more private aspects of their lives.
Jealousy – Jealousy is a natural feeling that everyone experiences. Too much
jealousy, however, can be unhealthy. Some people do not deal with jealousy in a
healthy way. Sometimes in relationships, people use jealousy as an excuse for
trying to control their partner. They tell their partner not to hang out with certain
people, or to be home by a certain time. If you trust your partner, you should not
be jealous when they talk to other people, or when they stay out late with other
friends.
Sometimes people blame jealousy when they get into fights. For example, a
person may punch somebody for talking to their partner. This is not okay. While
the feeling of jealousy may be normal and okay, people still need to be
responsible for their own acetones when they feel jealous.
Recognizing Differences – It is important to recognize that two people in a
relationship will have their differences. One person may love to watch basketball,
and the other person may find basketball totally boring. That’s okay. Two people
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in a relationship don’t have everything in common. Each person is different, and
has different likes and dislikes. It is important to respect each others’ differences,
and to allow your partner to be themselves.
Expecting all of your needs to be met – Expecting your partner to meet ALL of
your needs is not healthy or realistic. Your partner should help you to meet some
of your needs. There are lots of other people in your life who can help you to
meet your needs. It is very important to maintain friendships and activities
outside of your relationship, and not rely solely on your partner to meet all of your
needs.
Adapted from Knowing Where You Stand Resource Guide. Planned Parenthood Frederiscton
www.fredericton.ppfc.ca
.
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Myths & Facts
Domestic Violence & Teen Relationship Abuse
Purpose: To dispel some common myths and understand facts about
relationship abuse.
Materials: One photocopy of worksheet per participant
Pens/pencils
Additional for GROUP: Four pieces of 8 ½ x 11 paper with
“MYTH” printed largely on two pieces, and “FACT” printed
largely on the other two pieces.
Prizes or incentives for winning team
Activity 1. Introduce activity as a “Game Show” to test participants
(Group): knowledge of myths and facts about teen relationship abuse
and domestic violence. Facilitator can play the role of the
game show host, or have a group member volunteer to play
the host.
2. Split the group into two teams.
3. Tell teens that the host will make a statement about teen
relationship abuse or domestic violence, and the teams will
be given thirty seconds to discuss with their teammates and
decide whether the statement is a myth or a fact.
(Facilitators may need to review the meaning of the work
myth)
4. When the host calls time after 30 seconds, a member of
each team must hold up one of the signs – MYTH or FACT.
A team that does not hold up its sign right away forfeits its
chance to win points. If both teams get the right answer, they
each get one point. If only one team gets the right answer,
that team earns two points.
5. Optionally, facilitator may give teams the chance to win
“bonus points” if they can say why the statement is a myth or
a fact. They do not have to guess the exact statistics, but
demonstrate an understanding of the general concept
behind the fact, at the facilitator’s discretion.
6. After the game show is over award prizes and distribute
worksheets and pens/pencils. Read over each statement
and corresponding facts from the “Fact Sheet” and instruct
participants to fill in the facts, in their own words, under each
statement.
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Activity 1. Give teen worksheet and pen/pencil.
(Individual):
2. Review the meaning of the word “myth”, if necessary.
3. Either instruct teen to complete the survey on his/her own
or read each statement together and ask teen whether
he/she thinks the statement is a myth or fact.
4. After completing the worksheet, take out the “Fact Sheet”
and review the answers and corresponding facts for each
statement. Instruct teen to write in the facts in the space
provided as you go along.
Adapted from The Teen Relationship Workbook. Wellness Reproductions and Publishing (2001).
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Domestic Violence Cards
Myth or Fact
Domestic violence usually only
happens in married adult couples
Myth or Fact
Boyfriends and girlfriends sometimes
push each other around when they get
angry, but it rarely results in anyone
getting seriously hurt
Myth or Fact
While females can be abusive and
abuse happens in same-sex couples
too, it is much more common for males
to abuse their female partners.
Myth or Fact
If a mother is abused by her children’s
father, the children are also likely to be
abused.
Myth or Fact
Most people will end a relationship if
their boyfriend or girlfriend hits them.
Myth or Fact
People abuse their partners because
they can’t control their anger.
Myth or Fact
Most men who abuse their partners
grew up in violent homes.
Myth or Fact
If a person is really being abused, it’s
easy to just leave.
Myth or Fact
Most rapes are committed by strangers
who attack women at night on the
streets.
Myth or Fact
A pregnant woman is at an even
greater risk of physical abuse
Myth or Fact
Relationship abuse happens most
often among blacks and Hispanics.
Myth or Fact
People who are abused often blame
themselves for their abuse.
Adapted from The Teen Relationship Workbook. Wellness Reproductions and Publishing (2001).
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Myth or Fact?
1. M
FACT: As many as one-third of all high school and college-age young people
experience violence in an intimate or dating relationship. Physical abuse is as
common among high school and college-age couples as married couples.
2. M
FACT: Domestic violence is the number one cause of injury to women between
the ages of 15-44 in the U.S. – more than car accidents, muggings and rapes
combined. Of the women murdered each year in the U.S., 30% are killed by their
current or former husband or boyfriend.
3. F
FACT: About 95% of known victims of relationship violence are females abused
by their male partners.
4. F
FACT: 50% of men who frequently abuse their wives also frequently abuse their
children. A child who lives in a family where there is violence between parents is
15 times more likely to be abused.
5. M
FACT: Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate
relationships continue to date their abuser after the onset of violence.
6. M
FACT: People who abuse are usually not out of control. They do it to gain power
and control over the other person. They often use a series of tactics besides
violence, including threats, intimidation, psychological abuse and isolation to
control their partners.
7. F
FACT: men who have witnessed violence between parents are three times more
likely to abuse their own wives and children than children of non-violent parents.
The sons of the most violent parents are 1000 times more likely to become
batterers.
8. M
FACT: there are many very complicated reasons why it’s difficult for a person to
leave an abusive partner. One very common reason is fear – women who leave
their abusers are at a 75% greater chance of being killed by the abuser than
those who stay.
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9. M
FACT: About 80% of rapes and sexual assaults are committed by a partner,
friend or acquaintance of the victim.
10. F
FACT: Pregnant women are especially at risk for abuse. It is estimated that more
than one-third of pregnant women are abused. It is common for physical abuse to
begin or escalate during pregnancy.
11. M
FACT: Women of all races are equally likely to be abused by a partner.
12. F
FACT: Most people who are abused blame themselves for causing the violence.
However, the fact is that NO ONE is ever to blame for another person’s violence
– violence is always a choice, and the responsibility is 100% with the person who
is violent.
Adapted from The Teen Relationship Workbook. Wellness Reproductions and Publishing (2001).
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Other Available Resources
These resources are available to borrow from your local Mental Health &
Addiction Services Office or Regional Mental Health Promotion Consultant.
Healthy Relationships Poster Display (24” x 36”)
Teen Choices Display (three 24” x 36” panels)
Teen Choices
What are the Important Questions?
Sex
When should I have sex? Am I ready? What about birth control? What
about STI’s?
Drugs
Should I try drugs? Do I know the risks? What can happen?
Alcohol
Drinking is popular, does that make it ok?
Should I drink?
School
How much time & effort should I put in? What type
of future do I want? Should I start preparing now?
Crime
Is stealing or cheating that bad? Am I ok with this?
Activities
What are my interests? How do I get involved?
Health
How should I take care of my body? Food? Exercise?
Friends
What type of friends do I want? How should I treat my friends?
Relationships
Am I ready for dating? Am I ready for commitment?
Image
How do I want others to see me? How do I see myself?
Decisions are Difficult!
For help, talk to someone you trust like your
parents, teacher, guidance counselor or friend.
Teen Choices
Healthy Decision Making
Involves thinking about
options & what to do. It is an
important skill to develop
during teen years to make
your life easier.
Risk Taking – Results from
uninformed/impulsive choices.
Teens make choices based on
emotions, feelings or nothing
at all. This is why healthy
decision making is important.
Steps for Healthy Decision Making
Be sure – What is the question to be answered? What seems like a big
deal at first may not be a problem after all.
Brainstorm – Options or choices that apply to your problem. Think
hard because there are often many more solutions then at first glace.
Pro’s and Con’s - List the pro’s & con’s for each option. What do
you expect to happen based on your choice?
Decide – Based on your info make a decision that
best fits your problem.
Act – Once the decision is made, take action.
Do not put it off too long.
Evaluate & Re-evaluate – If possible, think
about the choices you’ve made & make any necessary changes.
Healthy Decision Making
Helps Avoid Risk Taking!
What’s Your Choice?
Use the Steps to Healthy Decision Making
Alcohol & Drugs
You are invited to a good friends
sleepover. She has never been
involved with drugs that you know of,
so you are surprised when she pulls
out several joints & beer. She asks
everybody to try. What’s your
choice?
Sex
You are on a date. At the end of the
night, your date is pressuring you into
having sex. You really like your date
but you don’t want to have sex at this
point in your relationship. What’s
your choice?
Standing Up
The boy whose locker is next to
yours is getting picked on by a group
of kids. The bullying gets worse each
week & nobody is standing up for
him. What’s your choice?
Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868
Mental Health Crisis Line 1-888-737-4668
NL Health Line 1-888-709-2929
Don’t Cross the Stupid Line
It’s the line of choice we each have that
separates smart risk from stupid risk.
No long term effects
Loss of friends
Being teased
Choose not to
drink
alcohol & try drugs
Criminal record
Don’t graduate
Addiction
Getting caught
Poor grades
Hangover
Choose to
drink
alcohol & try drugs
LONG TERM
EFFECTS
SHORT TERM
EFFECTS
CHOICE
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Coping with a Break Up (24” x 36”
The Choice is Yours! Life’s Situations for Teens
Participants learn to consider, explore, and
discuss various options to the difficult, real-
life situations presented in this activity card
set. Topics include cheating, bullies, dating
and sex, parties, parental expectations,
siblings, personal responsibilities, drinking,
money, smoking, and drug use. Meets
National Family and Consumer Science
Education Standards and National Health
Education Standards.
Includes 30 situation cards, idea sheet, and instructions.
For 2 or more players or teams. Grades 6-12.
Solution Ball
This ball helps pupil find solutions to tough
situations in a fun way. Twenty different statements
and strategies cover the ball and help players deal
with a particular problem. Age 8-Adult.
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Girls Circle and Boys Council Activity Guides
These Activity Guides provide facilitators with everything they need to run a
strengths-based program and create a safe space to address risky behaviors,
build on protective factors, and improve relationships. The user-friendly guides
contain all of the tools a group leader would need with step-by-step instructions
on leading discussions and creative activities. Easily adaptable to your own
unique setting.
Girls Circle Activity Guides
Friendship - Ages 9-14. 8-Week Program. Groundbreaking kit those shores girls up
with strong interpersonal skills & knocks down the barriers to pride, confidence, &
empathy. Confronts exclusion, intolerance, & feuding.
Being A Girl - Ages 11-13. 8-Week Program. Introduces girls to the positive
experience of a support circle addressing topics such as "Growing Up Female," "Growth
and Self-Care," & "Female Role Models." Great kit for middle-school girls new to support
groups.
Honoring Diversity - Ages 11-18. 12-Week Program. Recognizes varied cultural,
ethnic, racial backgrounds, emphasizing positive identity & alliance-building.
Who I Am - Ages 14-18. 8-Week Program. Works with girls to examine identity,
assertiveness skills, & goal setting through role-play, mandala-making, relationship to
music, & more. Excellent program that is well received by high school girls.
Relationships with Peers - Ages 14-18. 10-Week Program. Enhances girls'
awareness of their relationships with themselves and others. Themes include “Accepting
Different Parts of Myself,” “Giving Voice to Feelings,” “Romantic Relationships,”
“Girlfights or Girlfriends,” & complimented with journaling, role-play, sculpting, & more.
Wise & Well Activity Guide - 8-Weeks Girls 12-18. Addresses 21st Century challenges
such as cyberbullying, social networking, binge drinking, marijuana use, the stigma of
mental health and more.
Expressing My Individuality - Ages 11-15. 8-Week Program. Explores topics such as
celebrating individuality, getting along with others - addresses goals, conflict styles,
values exploration, and taking time to relax.
Mind, Body, Spirit - Ages 12-18. 12-Week Program. This excellent prevention kit
addresses alcohol, tobacco, & drug decision making as well as healthy sexuality,
promoting abstinence &/or reduction to high-risk behaviors by exploring the realities of
risk and the power of self-care.
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Body Image - Ages 12+. 8-Week Program. Helps girls examine the cultural messages
& personal beliefs that influence body image.
Paths to the Future - Ages 12+. 12-Week Program. Skills building support circle for
use with high-risk or court- involved girls. Examines beliefs about friendships, trust,
authority figures, mother/daughter relationships, sexuality, dating violence, HIV, drug
abuse, stress & goal-setting.
Mother Daughter Circle - Ages 11+. 8-Week Program. In “Heart of the Matter”
mothers or female caregivers & their daughters join together in combined & age-
appropriate groups to promote empathy, communication skills, stress reduction, setting
limits & honoring boundaries, and more. Co-Facilitation recommended.
My Family, My Self, Activity Guide - 8-Weeks Girls 12-18. This essential guide gets at
the critical importance of girls’ development within the context of their family
relationships & offers girls the opportunity to safely & respectfully acknowledge & explore
the many gifts & challenges of growing up within the family unit.
The Council Activity Guides
Growing Healthy, Going Strong
10-Weeks Boys Ages 9-14. Boys will have fun identifying social-emotional messages,
experiences, attitudes, and smart options for growing up male in our culture.
Competition, bullying, recognizing and expressing emotions, male and female role
expectations, self confidence, and teamwork are highlighted through games and team
challenges. Boys develop vocabulary and skills to expect and enact fairness, healthy
competition, and respect for self and others.
Standing Together: A Journey into Respect
10-Weeks Boys Ages 9-14. This guide provides engaging ways to address common
themes which pre-teens and early adolescents encounter, including breaking down
social-cultural barriers, motives and actions around put-downs, knowing their personal
rights, defining assumptions about male power, respecting others' physical boundaries,
understanding and using the energy of strong emotions, and standing up for each other
in community.
Living a Legacy: A Rite of Passage
10-Weeks Boys Ages 13-18. Young men gain skills and knowledge to navigate growing
up male in today’s society through the introduction of topics and experiential activities
that address a myriad of relevant challenges - safely, powerfully, and within a spirit of
“council” connection. Boys will explore: relationships, conflict resolution, education,
leadership, community service, diversity, mass media messages, personal values,
integrity, and future goals.
Journey of the Great Warrior: Empowering Minority & Disenfranchised Youth
18-Sessions Boys Ages 13-18. Using the symbol of the Medicine Wheel of the
indigenous people of the Americas and the metaphor of the journey of a great warrior,
this guide takes young men further into a holistic process of growth and transformation
that includes four areas of human development: emotional/spiritual, psychological,
social, and intellectual.
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References/Sources
Some of the activities included in this Resource Kit were adapted from the
Healthy Relationships Resource Kit Eastern Health, Health Promotion Division
(2010). The following websites and sources were used to compile activities for
this Resource Kit.:
The Choice is Yours! Life`s Situations for Teens, J&B Products Inc (2004).
Healthy Relationships Question Set. Alberta Health Services (2011).
Role Play Scenario Cards. Alberta Health Services (2011).
www.teachingsexualhealth.ca
Self-Esteem and Life Skills Too! (S.E.A.L.S. II), Wellness Reproductions &
Publishing (1996). http://wellness-resources.com
Character Fun Gamekit (2007). www.marcoproducts.com.
Just for the Health of It! Health Curriculum Activities,The Centre for Applied
Research in Education.www.phdirect.com
Robertson, A. and Lesley Mang. (1990) Healthwise 1. Nelson Canada.
Scarborough.
Changes In Me: A Resource For Educators On Puberty And Adolescent
Development Peel Health Department: Healthy Sexuality Program –Contact
Health Line Peel @ 905-799-7700.
Girls Talk: An anti-stigma program for young women to promote
understanding of and awareness about depression (2009). Centre for
Addiction and Mental Health www.camh.net
.
Knowing Where You Stand Resource Guide. Planned Parenthood
Frederiscton www.fredericton.ppfc.ca
.
The Teen Relationship Workbook. Wellness Reproductions and Publishing
(2001). http://wellness-resources.com
Other Websites
o www.crayola.com
o www.randomactsofkindness.org
o www.dltk-cards.com
o www.businessballs.com/fantasticat.htm
o www.susankramer.com/friendshipqualities.html
o www.mindyourmind.ca
o www.kidshealth.org
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2011
